


On a Dark Desert Highway

by redeem147



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-12
Updated: 2011-08-12
Packaged: 2017-10-22 13:28:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/238532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redeem147/pseuds/redeem147
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post series. Two old friends meet unexpectedly and find some comfort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On a Dark Desert Highway

Normally, this was the sort of place she would have avoided. Smoky, with a decor, such as it was, bordering on the tasteless. Not a rough bar, but with threadbare tablecloths and the South American equivalent of country music seeping from the speakers. Mostly men, not businessmen, not longshoremen. Self-absorbed men, concentrating on one thing. Drinking.

She ordered a beer and sat in the corner by herself. A few men glanced up as she walked by, but since she had dressed in a plain shift that did nothing to flatter her boyish body and hadn’t bothered with makeup, they glanced down again. She supposed the red eyes hadn’t been much of an enticement.

Kennedy liked strobing lights and disco music. This was the last place she was likely to turn up. Willow wanted to be where she wouldn’t run into anyone she knew. None of the new Slayers would even know this bar existed. She could drink in peace, and if she cried a little more, nobody would care.

“Excuse me.”

Maybe the shift wasn’t plain enough. Some man had come over to the table. At least he was polite, and, if she wasn’t mistaken, American. She kept her eyes on the bottle in her hand. “I’m sorry. I’m not interested.”

“Willow?”

She looked up. “My god. Riley?”

He didn’t look to be in much better shape than she was. His always clean-cut cheeks were stubbled and he looked like he hadn’t been sleeping. His clothes were non-descript, but not military. Maybe he was undercover. He was cradling a glass in his hands. “Mind if I sit down?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she sputtered. “Sure. Of course.”

He sat, turning the glass in his hands, swirling the amber liquid, not speaking. Neither of them spoke. Willow was beginning to wonder if she should down her beer, mutter “goodbye” and leave, when he cleared his throat. She looked at him with expectation. “I didn’t expect to see anyone I knew,” he said. “This isn’t a very nice place.”

“I wanted to be alone.” He blushed. Always the gentleman, he shifted as if to rise. “It’s okay, Riley. How are you?” The answer obvious, she could have kicked herself at her own banality.

“I’m fine. You?”

She chuckled, just a bit. “We’re sitting in a Brazilian dive, both looking like hell. I doubt either of us is fine.” She took a sip from her bottle. “You aren’t going to ask me what I’m doing here? This doesn’t strike you as odd in any way?”

“I’ve seen giant, purple crab monsters. Nothing is odd.”

That earned him a smile. “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours. You on some super secret mission for the government?”

“I’m not with the government anymore. Not as of,” he looked at his watch, “three hours ago.”

“They kicked you out? You quit?”

“My time was up. This time I didn’t re-enlist.”

“But that’s great! You can go home.” The look on his face killed her smile.

“Home? Iowa, maybe? Let my folks look down on me as the son who couldn’t keep his marriage together? You don’t know my folks.”

“Oh, god,” she gasped. “Oh, Riley, I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.” She lay her hand on his and gave it a squeeze. “You seemed happy.”

“Yeah.”

“I guess we did too,” she sighed. “At least I wasn’t married to Kennedy.” She thought about what she had said. “Not that I should compare us to you,” she sputtered, “because that sounded selfish and we’re talking about you and...”

“Who’s Kennedy?”

“Oh, yeah. You never met her.” She sighed. “I could say Kennedy was a mistake. But that wouldn’t be fair. She was really good for me, in her way.”

“She was your girlfriend?”

“Was. Yes. After Tara.” Her throat tightened. Even after all this time, talking about Tara could bring out tears more easily than she expected. “Tara... she...”

“I heard. About what happened. I tried to keep tabs, for a while.” He put his hand on hers. “I’m really sorry. It was a shock.”

“Tabs.” She looked at him, concerned. “You were spying on Buffy?”

“No. Not really.” He pulled back. “No. But the military was still interested in the Hellmouth, even after the main part of the Initiative crashed and burned. And after my last visit to Sunnydale, I thought my interest should be more... active. I mean, it wasn’t like I had her house bugged or anything. I just kept my ear open for news.”

“Oh.” Willow’s voice grew quiet. “So you know what I tried to do?”

“What?”

“Oh, nothing. Nothing much. Destroy the world, but I didn’t, so don’t worry about it. I’m much better now. That’s when I lost touch with Sam, though.”

“Destroy the world.” He cocked his head and stared at her. “What happened in Sunnydale. Or ex-Sunnydale. You didn’t...”

“What? Me? The crater? No, good grief. That was the First Evil and the Ubervamps. You must have heard about the Watcher’s Council. And the activated Slayers?”

“Bits and pieces. I know Buffy left the country. Did she go alone?”

“Alone? No.”

“Oh. So she and Spike...”

Willow shook her head. “Spike’s dead. I meant she went with Dawn.” Willow studied Riley’s face. “You said you and Sam aren’t together. Are you ... are you still interested in Buffy? In getting back together?”

He snorted. “Me? Buffy? No. That’s over and done. No matter what Sam may have thought.”

“Oh. She was jealous.”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Pretty much. And I can’t say it wasn’t my fault. Not that she should have been jealous of Buffy but ... After we saw her, Sam saw how shaken I was. And it wasn’t that I was still in love with Buffy or anything. It’s that I wasn’t. And I realized that a lot of what I loved in Sam was what I saw of Buffy in her. And I guess we never really talked that out.”

“That’s too bad. Sam was okay.”

“So,” Riley said. “Kennedy.”

“Right. Kennedy.” Willow took a sip of her beer. “I guess I wanted to love Kennedy because she wanted me too. She was really different than Tara. Maybe that was safer. But wanting to love and loving are too very different things.”

“Damn straight.”

Willow smiled. “Mr. Finn, that’s dangerously close to cussing.”

“Sorry,” he exclaimed. “But I am a big bad soldier boy. Or I was.”

“Shit,” she said. “Don’t apologize for swearing.”

He laughed. “Yes, ma’am.” He rolled his glass between his hands. “You said Spike was dead. She finally came to her senses and staked him?”

“What? God, no.” Willow’s face grew serious. “Spike was a hero. He saved us all. Saved the world.”

“Get out.”

“No. Really. He died taking out the Ubervamps.”

“Doesn’t sound like Spike,” Riley muttered.

“Spike had a soul. And he loved Buffy. And maybe he cared for the rest of us more than he let on, too. I don’t know. I can’t ask him.” Her voice dropped. “I can’t thank him.”

“Listen, I don’t want to tick you off. I didn’t know. If Spike changed, good for him. How did Buffy take it?”

“Buffy?” she asked. “She loved him. She didn’t tell him until it was too late. He died. How do you think she took it?” She realized he was flitching at her words. “I’m sorry if I sound harsh. I just know how she felt. She’s okay now. Last time I talked to her, she was seeing someone new, and she sounded happy.”

“Good,” Riley replied. “I want her to be happy. How’s Xander?”

“I guess you don’t know that either,” she sighed.

“He’s not...?”

“No, he’s okay. He managed to lose an eye last year, and that was an adjustment. But he’s in Africa now, training new Slayers.”

“An eye?” He fingered the scar that bisected the side of his face. “I suddenly feel a little luckier than I did.”

“He’s okay. He coped. And I think he’s really happy where he is, doing some construction and generally helping out. Maybe he’ll even find someone there. I hope so.”

“Find someone... So he and Anya?”

“Anya’s dead.” There was another long silence as Riley shifted awkwardly.

“I didn’t...” he muttered.

“Of course you didn’t. You know, I was never really her biggest cheerleader, but she died fighting. He hurt a lot afterwards. I think that’s why he jumped at the chance to go to Africa.” She opened her purse and rifled around, pulling out a notebook. “I have his address. You should write to him. He always really liked you.”

“Thanks. Maybe I will. I always sensed a little hero worship.” Riley smiled. “Bit embarrassing, really.”

“Well, he always liked his GI Joes.” She bit her lip and reddened. “God, I’m sorry.”

“No,” he laughed. “That’s okay. GI Riley, that was me.” The smile left his face. “Was. Back to the ‘where do I go from here”?

“I have an idea. If you want.”

“Fire away. Metaphorically speaking.”

“We have all these new Slayers, and the Watcher’s council mostly went kablooey. There’s lots of girls that need help with training.”

“I’m not sure about this...”

She lay her hand on his. “You would be great. You have all the physical stuff, plus you’ve seen all sorts of baddies.”

He shook his head. “I’m not good with young girls. Look at Dawn. She just about hated me when I dated her sister.”

“She had a crush on Spike. I’m sure it had nothing to do with you.” She noted his raised eyebrows. “Well, even if it did, that’s one girl. These girls come from every background. Very few of them are secretly keys. You’ll get along. I know you will. And you can teach them so much. Say yes.”

“Maybe.” Her enthusiasm was infectious. “But tell me about these new Slayers. Where did they come from? I thought you could only have one at a time, two tops.”

“Buffy activated all the potential slayers in the world during the big battle.” She dropped her eyes. “I helped a bit.”

“I bet you helped a lot. Sounds like major mojo to me. So you came to grip with the magic? I know you were struggling.”

She nodded, smiling. “Yeah. I guess I did. We can’t run away from who we are. I’m a witch, and...” She squeezed his hand, “you’re big with the military kind of mojo. So help us.”

“I’ll think about it.” He looked into her big, pleading eyes. “I’ve thought about it. Okay.”

He covered her hand with his other one, and she didn’t pull away. She looked down at the table, at his big hands enclosing her little one. The feeling wasn’t unpleasant. When she looked up again, he was studying her face with an intensity she ought to have found uncomfortable. Instead, she smiled. He smiled back. Their lips met almost before she realized it, but as she started to lean in further, he pulled back. “I’m sorry,” he said, flustered. “That was out of line. We’re both hurting, and I know you’re not into...”

“I’m not sure what I’m into. I just know I liked that. More than I thought I would.” She kissed him again, this time letting it go further. His tongue tasted like whisky and tears. “Do you have a place?” she whispered, surprised by her own boldness.

He nodded, a look of awe on his face.

She kept his hand in hers as she stood. “Let’s go.”

*****

She studied his face in the flicker of the half-melted candle. Peaceful serenity. The face of a good man.

Buffy if she found out, when she found out, would kick her ass.

She remembered the touch of his hands as they smoothed down her body. The suckle of his lips on her nipples. He was bigger than the only other man she had known, in every way. It hurt when he stretched her, but she thought it a good hurt.

God, what had she done? She had made her choice years ago, and it didn’t involve the scratch of his whiskers as his face slid down her belly.

Was she making another choice now? She’d asked him to work with them. How did she feel about that? Seeing him day after day. Would it be awkward? Was it something she wanted?

What would Tara say? She thought she could hear her voice. “I want you to be happy, baby.”

She hadn’t realized he was awake, watching her. “What are you thinking?” he asked.

“I’m thinking that I think too much.” She nestled in his arms.

For the moment, they felt like home.


End file.
